The season is upon us – that time of year when the air is crisp and the holidays are right around the corner.

But as bereaved parents, we often struggle with a range of emotions this time of year, as the calendar flips from October to November… and on to December.

Here are some gentle reminders to give you hope and to help you through the upcoming holidays.

You’ve got this, my friend, and you are not alone.

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(Click on each of the following topics to read)

Anxiety

Fact : The anxiety leading up to an event or special date is almost always worse than the actual day itself.

Talk It Out

Fact : It helps to be heard!

Be Gentle With Yourself

Fact : You don't have to say yes to all of the holiday things.

Rest When You Need To

Fact : Your body often knows your limits before you do.

Include Your Child or Children

Fact : Family and friends love your child or children too and they love to think of them, hear their name, and see their photos.

Grace for the Holidays

Fact : There is no right or wrong way to spend the holidays.

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I wish I could hold all my children in my arms and that our family could be whole again.

— stillstandingmag .com / my-wish-for-Christmas-after-child-loss

That time

I thought I could not

go any closer to grief

without dying

I went closer, and I did not die.

Surely God

had his hand in this,

as well as friends.

Still, I was bent,

and my laughter,

as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.

Then said my friend Daniel,

(brave even among lions),

“It’s not the weight you carry

but how you carry it —

books, bricks, grief —

it’s all in the way you embrace it,

balance it, carry it

when you cannot, and would not,

put it down.”

So I went practicing.

Have you noticed?

Have you heard

the laughter

that comes, now and again,

out of my startled mouth?

How I linger to admire, admire, admire

the things of this world

that are kind, and maybe

also troubled —

roses in the wind,

the sea geese on the steep waves,

a love

to which there is no reply?

― Mary Oliver

“Perhaps,” said the man, “You would like to be lost with us. I have found it much more agreeable to be lost in the company of others.”

— Kate DiCamillo