How do I handle grief and the passing of time?

If you are reading this, chances are, you have experienced one of the most painful losses imaginable ~ the death of your child ~ and with their passing you were introduced to the concept of grief.

Grief brings about all sorts of change. It transforms us, our spouses and other children, our family and friends, and our circumstances.

What we once knew as “normal” suddenly ceases to exist, and in its place is a new world that we can hardly wrap our minds around, filled with strong emotions and physical and emotional pain.

You may find it difficult to eat, to sleep, or to think clearly and remember things.

You may feel numb or tired, sore or sick, or like you are constantly crying.

You may struggle with regular everyday activities and responsibilities.

You may want to hide and do nothing some days, and you may want to surround yourself with people and distract yourself with activities on other days.

This is a completely normal reaction to grief.

Whether we are ready and willing or not, time will continue to move us forward, and every day we will find ourselves a little bit further from the last time we saw our children smile, heard their voices, or felt their physical presence.

Before we know it, here comes a new year, taking the month of December from us and nudging us into an unfamiliar January.

Change can be hard, especially when life feels out of our control.

It is normal to grieve the passing of time and the coming of a new year.

But remind yourself that even though they are no longer physically here with you in the new year, a piece of your child lives within your heart and the memory of them travels with you wherever you go.

Instead of focusing on the hole that your child’s absence has left in your heart ~ remind yourself that there is no actual hole...

~ but rather ~

... a space that stores the memories of your child where you keep him or her safe.

The image of an empty hole is then replaced by a space in which you can cherish beloved memories and where your loved one is kept close.

You will never move on from your child, but you will move gently forward in time.

Time will change you.

But you will grow in ways that you never could have imagined the day your grief journey began.