* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Dad,

I am thankful and blessed to share my story with you. I know that God purposes all things according to the counsel of His will (Ephesians 1). Back in 2010, after being married for 6 years, I found out that I was going to be a dad for the first time, something I had been wary of treading into, knowing full well that it was in God’s timing. After a few weeks of knowing, my wife began bleeding more than normal and became concerned about her pregnancy.

She went to the doctor’s appointment shortly after the excess bleeding, accompanied by my mother-in-law a few days later. They performed an ultrasound and found that our baby had died, and my wife was [still carrying the baby] inside of her, along with the medical complications that could arise, including sepsis and other infections.

I went with her to a subsequent appointment to confirm the miscarriage, and once it was confirmed, I went into disbelief and, to be honest, became emotionally detached from the situation as a defense mechanism. I attempted to console and comfort my wife as she felt that they were taking “her baby” away from her through the operation known as a DNC, in order to remove the tissue from her womb.

After the operation, my wife found it difficult to do anything due to grief and sorrow. I felt as though there was nothing I could say, do, or attempt to help her in this season. We had a small memorial service at home, and I continued to pray and assist my wife in any way she felt or needed. By God’s grace, he gave us another child just 4 months later. That did help with my wife’s grief but heightened her fears of losing another child. In July of 2011, we welcomed our daughter Hannah into the world, and it has not been the same since.

My daughters ask about their older sibling from time to time, finding it difficult to understand the plans, purposes, and blessings of God. I find it a great opportunity to show how God can turn mourning into joy (Psalm 30:11).

If there is any way I can help you in your journey from fear, depression, mourning, grief, or loss, feel free to contact me.

Chris S.